Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.