- I cannot sleep well because of this global financial crisis!
- Well, I sleep like a baby!
- Really?
- Yes, I wake up each hour and cry!

Money is not everything. There's also Mastercard and Visa.

The wise never marry. If they marry, they become otherwise.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

A Polish immigrant applies for a driver's license and has to take an eyesight test. The examiner shows him a card with the letters C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z.
"Can you read this?" the examiner asks.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I know the guy!"

At college each student had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The story had to contain the following three themes: religion, sexuality and mystery. The story which got an A+ was:
"Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder, who did it?"

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