- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

My kids love browsing the web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto", and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it must have at least four characters."

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Age is good only if you're cheese or wine.

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