Dumb Laws-It is illegal for a driver to wear a blindfold while driving a car in Alabama. -In New York, you have to buy a license to hang clothes on a clothesline. -In Michigan, alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.
If you want to chew gum, buy some. Don't use the gum from underneath the seats at schools and movie theaters even though it's free.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He told her, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress . If you don't do the following , your husband will surely die...Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant , and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim . If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?" She replied, "You're going to die"!
Don't chase a bear into the woods to get a close-up photo!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.